How to Set Appropriate Goals

The sun was out and the sky was blue on a crisp Fall day. My white t-shirt was oversized and my shorts were red, made out of that classic 90's PE jersey material. It was middle school and I was about to try out for Cross Country. I don't recall feeling nervous that day, I was ready to run. However, as a basketball player, I hadn't tried running long distance before - but if my friends could do it, so could I.

I will never forget the silence running up that big hill in the cul-de-sac behind our middle school. The only sound in the air was my labored breathing as I found myself running completely alone. Not because I had discovered a new talent within me, feet with wings and lungs of steel, but because I was dead last. There wasn't another teammate in sight. I was frustrated and very embarrassed.

I skipped the next day of practice by way of a lie that I had a dentist appointment. The following day I quit entirely. From that day on I looked at running as my enemy and made a pack with myself that I "hated" it. 

Have you ever suddenly felt a mighty jolt of inspiration or energy that prompted you to dive head first into a new goal only to find yourself tripped up and feeling like you failed? Maybe you even swore off the goal completely and figured you should just go back to your "normal" life. 

What is happening when this occurs?
 
By the end of this writing you will have read the break down and evolution of how I've found setting appropriate goals works. Note that I did not say "fail-proof" goals because failure is a part of ultimately achieving goals. To take it a step further, I've found that failure can be a welcomed voice that gives us extremely useful data and feedback about ourselves. If we can tune into our failures and get curious about them, it won't completely upheaval our momentum and in fact will push us forward.

So how do we do this? Let's start by getting really real.

How hard is it raining?

First, you will need to answer this question: Am I ready to set a new goal? Or Am I finding joy and contentment just how my life currently is. The truth is, not everybody wants to set new goals. 

Once you've figured out if you're ready for new growth, the next step will be identifying what kind of season your life is in, and this is extremely sobering and important because if we don't know what our current capacity is then we won't be able to make appropriate goals. Think cross country try-out when you've never ran a mile before. Thankfully when I started running again at 17 I started with 5 minutes at a time, a much more appropriate goal. We will talk about that again in a minute. 

How do you identify the season that you’re in? By checking in on the main focus areas of your life and asking yourself a few more questions, like these: 

Personal: How content are you with your routines? Do you spend a lot time watching TV or scrolling on Social Media? How does that make you feel? Do you have young children? Are you sleeping 8-9 hours? Are you moving your body? What are you spending your time doing all day? Are you currently experiencing loss or heart ache? 

Spiritual: Do you pray? How much time do you spend doing that? Do you notice blessings through out your day? Do you read your Bible? Are you angry with God? Do you feel lost in your purpose? 

Relational: How is your romantic life? Do you have friends? Do your friendships fill you up? Are you spending connected time with your children? Are you craving like-minded community?

Health: Have you been sick a lot? Are you moving your body each day? How is your nutrition? Are you exhausted daily? Are you drinking too much coffee? Are you drinking water? 

Creativity: Do you have any hobbies? Do you pursue them daily? Do you spend time outdoors in nature? Have you tried anything new lately? Do you like to bake, cook, paint, craft, thrift, read, play music? 

I would encourage you to pause here and submit these things to the Lord, ask Him for guidance, vision and heavenly downloads of new ideas and thoughts. Talk to Him, even read through your list with Him.

After doing this exercise you should have a good idea of the areas you want to grow in and the size of goals you realistically start to bite off. For example, my goals looked very different when I had a newborn baby vs. now that my son is 2.5 years old. Or, during times of loss I had to prioritize rest and pause most other goals for a time.  

Setting Appropriate Goals - Don’t set a 50 lb. goal…yet.

If you haven't been to the gyn in a long time, you're probably not going to walk in and be able to lift a 50 lb. weight first. This applies to setting goals, too. I call this building your "goal" muscle. For a long time I was a Go Big or Go Home person, until enough failure came my way and told me that I needed to bite off smaller goals in order to build up to larger ones. Why is this so important? 

In order to keep the fire of hope stoked and our morale high we need to see ourselves achieve these micro goals. It is crucial to let these small accomplishments build up our confidence. You will also want to get real about the motivation behind your goals - making sure it's not just to keep up with other women on Instagram or because you think it's what you "should" be doing. 

Let’s say that you’d like to start a brand new morning routine.

A 50 lb. goal: You set your alarm for 5am, when you normally sleep till 7am, and you’ll go for a mile long run to get some exercise in. 

Appropriate goal: Set your alarm for 6:30am, only 30 minutes earlier, and upon waking up complete 20 push ups, 20 squats and 20 lunges and be done. 

Which one seems more doable to you?

“Well that doesn’t seem like a lot, that’s lame! That's never going to make a difference.” Do not let the voice of comparison shoot you down. Stay focused, build your goal muscle. It's the incremental changes over time that super speed us into change. Let it do its thing, trust the process. 

Once you start building up your confidence with one goal, you can start to beef it up a little bit. Maybe you get up an entire hour earlier and get 10 pages or 10 minutes of reading in along with your quick workout. You're well on your way to a life-giving morning routine. Let the baby steps guide you. No goal is shameful or embarrassing, no matter the size or duration. And here’s the deal, the only way any of this works (and it does!) is trusting the process and putting in the work. There is no workaround or fast track. If there was, it would probably feel better but we wouldn't learn as much. 

Lastly, stay positive and stay grateful. Bring God your frustrations, your failures and your desires. Ask Him for contentment for the day and the fuel to take it on well. Here is a simple sample prayer:

”Father, Thank you for my able-body and my inspired mind. Help me to have the self-control required to do what I need to do today, for myself and for others. Help my heart to stay grounded in your Truth and my actions to stay grounded in Your love. Please take any negative thought captive and replace it with your light. In Jesus name, Amen”

To close, if you feel overwhelmed thinking about going through this process alone, I would love to work with you! I am re-opening my Personal 1:1 Coaching sessions for goal setting and accountability. I will have only 2 spots available for two wonderful women starting on the second week of January. Together, we will work through identifying your current season and setting appropriate goals to start implementing into your life.

We will meet once per week for four weeks via Zoom or in person if you're local to the Nashville area. If you feel like you are stuck in the same rut, you're craving vision and you know that you have goals deep in your heart, please book an intro call with me here to see if this could be right for you. Together, we will work on setting approachable goals based on your current season of life and work on the vision you have for living a peaceful and fulfilled life. 

The closing date for these spots is NEXT Friday Dec. 20th and won’t open again until February. Book your intro call here.  (or shoot me an email!)

I am also excited to share that the pricing will be based on what you’re able and choose to pay, no questions asked: 

OPTION 1: $140 - 4 sessions over 30 days
OPTION 2: $260 - 4 sessions over 30 days
OPTION 3: $480 - regular value x 4 sessions over 30 days
*Will discuss on our intro call

If you know someone who you think would benefit from coaching with me, you can get a $50 referral when they mention you when booking with me! 

I hope today's writing has brought you some fuel for 2025! May the Lord bless and keep you. 

Blessings, Hannah
Daughter of God, Wife, Mom, Entrepreneur

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