Nothing will get your actions, attitude and heart quickly in check like having a little person looking up to you and watching every single move you make, 24/7.
Motherhood has called me up into an entirely different level of living. I am accountable in every moment. How many moments are in a day? Out of the thousands of moments in any given day, there are many moments I mess up; I am tired, impatient, tempted by desires to wallow and self-sabotage, and the list goes on. I have found that by my own will, by my own strength, I am rather helpless.
There has been no time like now, in motherhood, where I have fully, truly submitted my entire life to the Lord Jesus Christ and depend on Him completely. Daily, I am in deep need of the grace, wisdom and renewal that He, and He only, gives. I depend on Him financially, for my next client to come in, for my family's needs, our emotional health and for the self-discipline it takes to manage the enormous emotions of life. While I have always had a relationship with Jesus, my great hope and trust in Him has now been further solidified by the hope and trust I have in Him on behalf of my son.
Although this desire has found a constant flame through motherhood, the first sparks started a few years back. Taking a look back over the previous four years, including lock-downs, soul-less political ideologies and encounters of false teaching, these trials have led our family to walk towards Christ with firmer footsteps and pointed purpose.
As I started the Bible from the beginning last year, a feat that had always seemed out of reach, I asked God to give me a deep desire to read His word and to reveal an understanding of it to me; that I wouldn't just simply read the words on the pages but that the words would penetrate my hearth and mind. As I started to read from Genesis with this prayer, I was blown away by how even the littlest lines would touch my soul like a drop of rain to a crop under drought. This started to extenuate my deep desire to know the word; to be washed by the word and to be strengthened by it.
One of my favorite verses in this season has been 1 Peter 2:2. It says, "As newborn babes, desire the sincere milk of the word, that ye may grow thereby:" Until nursing my son, I never understood the gravity of comparing the desire of the word to the desire that a newborn babe has for it's mother's milk; it is absolutely stunning and has brought tears to my eyes.
The word is truly the living word, I can feel it echo in my soul each time I read a scripture; it shifts the stormy clouds of confused feelings and gray circumstances into rays of light. Ask God for a desire for His word and for the Holy Spirit to open it up to your heart and mind. If you need to, skip around and read until something strikes you. God will move in your heart.
I hope this has been an encouragement to you in your journey of faith. Our life adventures with the Lord are life long and I am truly excited to know Him more and more.
Ps, I recently heard someone say "God is my business partner." and I absolutely love that.
Blessings,
Hannah Daughter of God, Wife, Mom, Entrepreneur
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